“Being a teenager without a mother was probably the hardest time for me…”


“Being a teenager without a mother was probably the hardest time for me. I loved my father, but didn’t always know how to talk to him about things. I struggled with my body image. I didn’t know how to feel pretty. I criticized myself – the way I look, everything I did. I was never good enough. I did a good job of hiding my feelings by becoming a bit rebellious. I’m sure many of my teachers in high school didn’t see my future as being successful. Then at 17, I started dating my future husband. I found true love at barely an adult. We were best friends. We understood each other. We lifted each other up. It was meant to be. We moved and went to college, came back and started planning our wedding. My mother happened to start getting in touch with me again before the wedding and said she wouldn’t miss this special day. Her mother, who I didn’t really call grandma because she wasn’t really in my life either, promised to pay for my mothers flight if she couldn’t afford it. I knew that she was going to be there no matter what now. Maybe she would make up for lost time and I might have a relationship with my mother. We could do all the things mothers and daughters do, like go shopping, have coffee…what else do mothers and daughters do? I don’t know but all those things sounded nice. It was the night before my wedding. My fiancé and I did the traditional thing, he stayed with his father that was in town. That evening, I came home to listen to a voice message. It was my mom. She left a message saying she wasn’t going to make it. It was the night before my wedding. I was devastated. I felt like I was picked up and dropped to the ground. At this point I vowed never to talk to her again. I got married at 21. We bought our first home, and just had a great life together. At this point I had happily pushed my mother issues behind me. I was ok if I never heard from her again.”


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