“I felt so unprepared for the birth of our son.  We were beyond blessed that our son was healthy when he was born, but I felt like I was in a fog.  I didn’t feel that mommy glow.  I look back at the pictures post C-section when I am doing skin to skin with my son and I have this blank stare.   I did not have a hospital bag prepared for my son or me.  Kyle was so small, my sister had to go buy some preemie clothes for him to wear home from the hospital.  I had to have my husband go home and get some clothes for me. Motherhood is the most wonderfully hard blessing in the world.  I love my son more than I ever could have imagined but I don’t always love being a mother!  I’m okay with saying that.  There were many nights when our son was a newborn, that I sat in our dark living room holding our son, who would be wide wake and I’d have tears running down my face.  The first 6 months were very difficult for me.  It wasn’t until my son got on a nap and bed time schedule that I started to feel normal again.  Even though my before baby normal was gone, this new normal was manageable and we could have a life outside the house!”