“I was able to overcome and let go of my fears…”




6

“I am so grateful to be able to be a mother because I never thought I would be able to be one.  As a child and into my adulthood I suffered from severe Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  I just thought that marriage, let alone motherhood, wasn’t in the cards for me.  My OCD had gotten so bad that there were days when I wouldn’t want to leave my room.  I was so afraid to let myself really fall in love because I didn’t want to tell my secret, but along came my husband and everything changed.  He was the first person outside my immediate family that accepted me no matter what craziness I confessed to him (and I confessed a lot.)  He was persistent even though I was scared to death and even tried to break it off about 10 times.  OCD had my heart locked up, but when he didn’t give up, I decided I wouldn’t give up either.”

4

“We got married and within the year we were expecting our first child.  We were so excited, but my OCD started to creep into my life again, which sent me into a tailspin of depression and anxiety.  I was terrified of being a mother and not being able to care for a baby.  As, I was sitting at work crying about not being strong enough, I got a call from my husband.  His father had been found unconscious at the beach and was being rushed to the hospital.  My head went into an absolute fog as I drove to get to him.  When I arrived my father-in-law had already passed.  I was immediately in a different state of mind, as I had to be strong for my husband.  I struggled internally with my OCD (because distress can make it 100x worse.)  I was as strong as I could be.  On the day of his funeral I actually miscarried.  It was hard because I was grieving for two major losses.  My father-in-law had been so excited to be a grandfather.  I went through the miscarriage quietly, not wanting others to know and feel more pain.”

1

“When things settled down, I came to realization that God had a greater plan.  My unborn child was in Heaven with my father-in-law where he could be with his first grandchild.  I found peace and comfort in this thought.  We were able to get pregnant again a few months later and this time my OCD was kept at bay.  I was able to enjoy my pregnancy and look forward to being a mother.  I knew in my heart that my first pregnancy wasn’t meant to be and that it was a gift from God for my father-in-law to spend his last days knowing he had a grandchild on the way.”

2

“Jump forward 9 years and my husband and I have 3 beautiful boys.  I didn’t think I could do it, but here I am and I have survived.  Not many people know that I suffer from OCD.  I have it under control now, but it took me a long time to get this point.  I look at my family now and just can’t believe this is my life.  I was able to overcome and let go of my fears.  I owe it to my husband for standing by me and leading me through the darkness and into the light.”

 

 

 

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