“My son had massive trauma at birth. My husband and…”

“My son had massive trauma at birth. My husband and I had planned a natural birth, but instead I had an emergency c-section because my son was is severe distress. He suffered a significant bilateral stroke at birth and an additional clot in his subclavian artery that left him with an 80% chance of amputation of his right arm at birth. Even after 21 months, I still mourn our beginning and everything we lost. My son is thriving despite his brain and bodily injury, but he’s not without challenges. I spent the first year after my son was born grieving my original dreams of motherhood. It was really hard, but what I didn’t realize all of those months was that I would have to mourn those dreams regardless of his trauma or if he was born perfectly healthy. I don’t want my son to be who I want him to be. I want him to be who he wants to be, so I have finally realized I would have had to mourn those original motherhood dreams no matter what if I wanted to raise my child as a free thinking, free spirit. We did not circumcise him (we believe in bodily autonomy; his body, his choice), no forced religious beliefs, no forced occupation, no forced gender association, and he can love whomever he chooses.”


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