“My son had massive trauma at birth. My husband and…”

“My son had massive trauma at birth. My husband and I had planned a natural birth, but instead I had an emergency c-section because my son was is severe distress. He suffered a significant bilateral stroke at birth and an additional clot in his subclavian artery that left him with an 80% chance of amputation of his right arm at birth. Even after 21 months, I still mourn our beginning and everything we lost. My son is thriving despite his brain and bodily injury, but he’s not without challenges. I spent the first year after my son was born grieving my original dreams of motherhood. It was really hard, but what I didn’t realize all of those months was that I would have to mourn those dreams regardless of his trauma or if he was born perfectly healthy. I don’t want my son to be who I want him to be. I want him to be who he wants to be, so I have finally realized I would have had to mourn those original motherhood dreams no matter what if I wanted to raise my child as a free thinking, free spirit. We did not circumcise him (we believe in bodily autonomy; his body, his choice), no forced religious beliefs, no forced occupation, no forced gender association, and he can love whomever he chooses.”

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One thought on ““My son had massive trauma at birth. My husband and…”

  1. What you’re describing sounds like unconditional love of a child. I can’t imagine how painful & difficult it is to have a child that’s ill. Letting go of your own personal plans and just allowing your child to grow into themselves is truly one of the best gifts you’ll ever give or get as a mom because it’s a surprise! I’m constantly in awe as my daughters 18 and 11 evolve. I wish much happiness!

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