“I just want to be cancer-free and have my life back…”


“In March 2015, I had a colonoscopy.  I knew something wasn’t right, but cancer never crossed my mind.  Coming out of anesthesia, the doctor came over with a picture from the scope and told me I have cancer. My husband and I squeezed each other’s hands and cried. I didn’t hear anything else.  Telling our family was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.  We spent hours on the phone that night; I barely could speak and my husband did most of the talking.”


“A month later I was in surgery.  A foot of my colon was removed along with the tumor and fourteen lymph nodes.  Five nodes tested positive; the cancer was metastasized and chemo was in my future.  To top it off; I was now an owner of an ileostomy bag.”


“I have a huge support team that has been incredible. They have encouraged me on my path to recovery. I’m told I’m strong and brave, but I don’t feel like either of those things.  I’ve been very open with my girls about Mommy being sick with cancer. I hope that when they grow up they don’t remember much of these hard times.  Every day I think about my husband and children living their lives without me.  I don’t know if I will be cured. There are countless what-ifs that I think of.”


“I have twelve rounds of chemo to go through and I’m more than halfway done. It is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.  Every other week I get very sick and only recover right before the next round knocks me down again.  I have neuropathy in my hands and feet and I can always taste the chemicals.”


“I don’t even mind the multiple scars or hair loss.  I just want to be cancer-free and have my life back.  I want to be Mommy again.  I’m constantly body-shaming myself for gaining 20+ pounds while on chemo and steroids. I feel like everything is out of my control.”


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